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Well, my post at the Anonymous Feedback Meme doesn't seem to be generating the constructive criticism that I'd hoped (ie. none), so I've decided to take a stab at it myself. This is partly to clarify things that I've been learning in my own mind, and partly to demonstrate that if anyone was holding back because they were concerned about how I would take it, there is little one could say that I haven't thought myself. ;)
Whoops! That's long! Putting it behing the cut...
The Big Things
I'm much more comfortable writing Daniel than the other characters, which leads to a preponderance of Daniel stories. That's not a bad thing, in and of itself, but that should come from choice, not as a by-product of an inability to get into the heads of the rest of the team.
I really, really need to work on my 'other characters'. They tend to be cliched, and lack realistic motives, background stories (not necessarily told, but important), and the details that make them 'live'. They also tend to lack original and unique character voices.
A lot of my smaller pieces would probably be more effective as part of something larger. I need to take the time to write more detailed plots, and hey, a sub-plot or two would be nice.
I sometimes shy away from demonstrating feelings/emotional fallout due to a misplaced fear of making them appear rather Byronic, or moving too far away from episode demonstrated behaviors. Just because they're private people who don't go on about their feelings doesn't mean they're not feeling anything. They don't have to say anything, but I need to show these things more.
Notes to self on some smaller issues that are important, nonetheless (things I shouldn't have to be told, or notice, more than once, but apparently do):
-punctuation goes INSIDE the quote marks, damn you, INSIDE!
-Jack has to be dying (or a teammate does) before he talks about feelings, and sometimes not even then. Just like Daniel and giving up.
-Mitchell is southern, but not that southern.
-Vala can't always be somewhere else. Sometimes she's there. Deal with it.
-learn to write science-babble. It won't kill you to do some reading about physics.
-don't let the archeology/mythology take over the story. It's adventure, not an essay.
-Thought, action, then speech.
-people don't say exactly what they're thinking, especially these people. Let them talk around the point, rather than getting right to it.
-develop new ways of describing common character actions. This is not a case where repetition, even from story to story is a good thing.
-varying sentence structure is good, but not if it's in a discernable pattern. That's almost as bad as not varying it at all.
-use fewer commas. It makes you look retentive.
Okay, that's all I can think of right now, and it's a big enough list of goals that it should keep me busy for a while, as I attempt to implement them in my long overdue 'Second Lives' story. What an excellent opportunity! ;)
This still doesn't tell how other people perceive my work, in a critical sort of way, but it does outline something to work on. Oops, just thought of another:
-don't end sentences with prepositions. :)
Whoops! That's long! Putting it behing the cut...
The Big Things
I'm much more comfortable writing Daniel than the other characters, which leads to a preponderance of Daniel stories. That's not a bad thing, in and of itself, but that should come from choice, not as a by-product of an inability to get into the heads of the rest of the team.
I really, really need to work on my 'other characters'. They tend to be cliched, and lack realistic motives, background stories (not necessarily told, but important), and the details that make them 'live'. They also tend to lack original and unique character voices.
A lot of my smaller pieces would probably be more effective as part of something larger. I need to take the time to write more detailed plots, and hey, a sub-plot or two would be nice.
I sometimes shy away from demonstrating feelings/emotional fallout due to a misplaced fear of making them appear rather Byronic, or moving too far away from episode demonstrated behaviors. Just because they're private people who don't go on about their feelings doesn't mean they're not feeling anything. They don't have to say anything, but I need to show these things more.
Notes to self on some smaller issues that are important, nonetheless (things I shouldn't have to be told, or notice, more than once, but apparently do):
-punctuation goes INSIDE the quote marks, damn you, INSIDE!
-Jack has to be dying (or a teammate does) before he talks about feelings, and sometimes not even then. Just like Daniel and giving up.
-Mitchell is southern, but not that southern.
-Vala can't always be somewhere else. Sometimes she's there. Deal with it.
-learn to write science-babble. It won't kill you to do some reading about physics.
-don't let the archeology/mythology take over the story. It's adventure, not an essay.
-Thought, action, then speech.
-people don't say exactly what they're thinking, especially these people. Let them talk around the point, rather than getting right to it.
-develop new ways of describing common character actions. This is not a case where repetition, even from story to story is a good thing.
-varying sentence structure is good, but not if it's in a discernable pattern. That's almost as bad as not varying it at all.
-use fewer commas. It makes you look retentive.
Okay, that's all I can think of right now, and it's a big enough list of goals that it should keep me busy for a while, as I attempt to implement them in my long overdue 'Second Lives' story. What an excellent opportunity! ;)
This still doesn't tell how other people perceive my work, in a critical sort of way, but it does outline something to work on. Oops, just thought of another:
-don't end sentences with prepositions. :)